dippyeggs:

ah yes summer time for shorts

*unsticks thighs from plastic chair*

(via alydoremi)

lilbitch2006:

u are a garden and sadly i’m like 12 gardens or a greenhouse. i’m better

(Source: thhot, via rhydonmyhardon)

ammit420:

horror movie synopsis

  • white family moves into house
  • the house got some shit in it
  • family refuses to acknowledge that they got some shit in they house
  • turns out that shit is some ultrashit

(via air-ianne)

rambozus:

itsmemorized:

Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
GRANDPA NO

Grandpa yes.

(via air-ianne)



8664
Anonymous said: please describe what it is like to live in the us??

iguanamouth:

every morning my alarm gun wakes me up by firing directly over my head and if i dont immediately get up and sing the star spangled banner i get arrested. all matters in court are settled with opponents dressing up in bald eagle costumes and fighting to the death. theres an american flag tattooed across my face. once i saw someone get punched in the head repeatedly at a barbeque because they said they didnt like apple pie and nobody helped them. nobody even tried

pink-vulva:

once i take my bra off, don’t ask me to do shit for u bitch bc once that bra comes off, i am clocked out of life. i am done. i am finished. i am logged the fuck out. 

(Source: pinkvelourtracksuit, via alydoremi)

wearywithoutsleep:

swarnpert:

white lips, pale face, im gay, outer space

(via sagihairius)



11185
me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
them: no
me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
them: we're not
me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

growing up was SONFUCKING hard going through all of that and now I’m gonna go through it again. after you’re gone I’m gonna have 0 siblings. what the Fuck is wrong with you all I’m so Fuxking sad and you don’t even care I hate this

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